What She Learned During Her Twelve Months At Victoria’s Secret
What I Learned During My Twelve Months At Victoria’s Secret
1. To say the word “panty” without doubling over in hysterics or, alternatively, feeling nauseous.
2. To tell a woman’s bra size just by looking (I haven’t yet decided how best to use this newfound talent).
3. When it comes to women’s undergarments, men prefer front-closure, black and lace.
4. When it comes to women’s undergarments, women prefer back-closure, cotton with no frills, and beige or another equally neutral color.
5. Just as soon as a woman finds a bra that fits well, doesn’t ride up or leave marks, it will be discontinued.
6. They make thongs in XL.
7. Unlike myself, most women insist that their bra and, cough cough, “panty” match. They will not buy one without the corresponding other, no matter how close the other color you find for them is, or if you explain that the print bottom has the same color in it as the bra, so in essence, they “go together.”
8. Men are often dumb enough to charge the lingerie they buy for their mistress on their lunch hour on the credit card that bills to their house. More than one wife called requesting to know just what her husband bought that she was never given.
9. Women have no shame, and will return undergarments that have very clearly been “used”, while looking you dead in the eye and claiming they were never worn.
10. Average bra size: 34B. Bra size most women want to be: 36C. Bra size most men prefer: 36D.
11. There is no point to a bra without an underwire. If you don’t need an underwire, you don’t need a bra.
12. Young boys get a kick out of calling and asking, “Do you carry crotchless underwear?” or “Do you sell edible panties?”
13. Telling a guy where you work is an instant turn-on. Typical bar conversation:
Guy (mildly interested): So where do you work? Me: Victoria’s Secret. Guy (face lights up like a kid on Christmas): Really? Me: Yup. Guy: Wow. So do you get a discount? Me: Yup. Guy: And do they ever give you free panties? Me: Yup. Guy: God, you must have one hell of an underwear collection. I mean, your panty drawer must be overflowing! Me: Yup. It’s sad actually, since I no longer wear underwear.
14. Most commonly used pick-up line of guys who come in the store: So, what, first you work in the catalog, then the store?